You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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