This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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