he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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