I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
