Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize