We're facebook friends in real life
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There r osticjed everywhere
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
