mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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