She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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