i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
