you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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