dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
