He asked me if I "almost moaned"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
