i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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