playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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