I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
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We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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