i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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