ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
