he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
