ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
