Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
