the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
