I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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