Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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