so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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