i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?