Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!