ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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