I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.