I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I wish there were birth control emojis
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.