ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again