I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.