Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat