Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.