I smell stomach acid.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts