What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize