That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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