just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
