Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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