Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
