i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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