By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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