I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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