he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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