she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
