i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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