the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
