My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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