What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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