I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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