your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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