If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
