Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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