It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
