one word: firstdatebathroomanal
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
