I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
