i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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