Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
