He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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