So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
