So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
