As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
