if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
