We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
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That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
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My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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