and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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