I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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