His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
