i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
