I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
worst night to have a conscience
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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