Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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