Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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