living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Is it because I queefed?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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