have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
