Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
