I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
