its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
His hands were made for my vagina.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
