if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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